


Shadows of the Past

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Category: A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)
Genre: Angst, Childfree Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Happy Ending, Infertility, Marriage Proposal, Missing Scene, Reference to past underage sex, childfree!Albert, nothing graphic & the underage sex is canonical, past ectopic pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:00:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21618829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: Set between the two final scenes of the movie. Albert is making plans for the future, a future with Anna as his wife. But to his surprise she turns him down, and eventually reveals something from her past that she thinks makes her an unsuitable bride. Albert disagrees.
Relationships: Anna Barnes/Albert Stark
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	Shadows of the Past

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to DieAstra for the beta reading and encouragement, and for suggesting a far better title than the working title I'd slapped on it!

Clinch was dead, the rest of his gang was in jail, and the reward money would arrive soon. Albert had thought for one second about using it to move to the city and then he'd thought of Bridget and realised that wouldn't work.

No, he'd stay here, make improvements to the ranch, buy more sheep. A lot more sheep.

After a long day taking care of his flock he'd wash up and eat dinner with Anna. Some nights they'd visit the saloon, or spend time with Edward and Ruth. Most nights however he'd sit by the fireside with a glass of whisky and a good novel, Plugger at his feet, Anna by his side reading or sewing or cleaning her gun. It would be perfect.

"Albert?"

He looked up from his meal. "Sorry?"

Anna gave a wry smile. "It's bad, isn't it?"

Albert shook his head. "It's a wonderful meal. You know, my mother was a terrible cook. I stopped asking what was for dinner in case she told me. Better to just close your eyes and chew quickly. This is lovely, honestly."

Anna relaxed. "You looked so far away," she said.

"I was just thinking about the reward money," he said. "Making plans."

She nodded, but now she was uneasy again. Her smile didn't reach her eyes and she poked at the stew without eating.

Maybe she was wondering what part she would play in his future. Well Albert would fix that. He pushed back his chair and got to his feet. Anna stared at him as he moved around the table.

Albert knelt alongside her. "I'd like to make a ceremony out of this, have Bridget bring you a ring, but I don't want to wait. Anna, will you marry me?"

He wasn't sure what he expected; a moment of surprise, perhaps. A smile. An "Oh, Albert!" while she-–briefly–considered his offer. Tears of joy, if anything. Not the sudden brightness in her eyes as her lower lip trembled, turning from him and getting to her feet.

"No," Anna said, her voice strangled. "I can't."

"Anna!" He tried to get up, banged his knee on the chair leg. "Ow! Sonofabitch! Anna, wait!"

She grabbed her coat and disappeared out into the night, the door banging back and forth in the cool breeze.

Albert limped back to his chair and sat down heavily. Plugger slinked over and whined.

"I don't know," Albert said and, no longer hungry put his plate on the floor for the dog to finish.

He did not go after Anna. She needed space. The more he thought about it, the more he kicked himself for surprising her with a proposal. It was too soon after Clinch's death, too soon for her to want to marry Albert, too sudden when they hadn't discussed it properly. He should have talked it through and then made the grand gesture.

Albert did not sleep well that night. He kept questioning his decision not to go after Anna. What if she fell off a cliff, unable to see the edge in the moonless night? What if she got bit by a snake? What if she froze to death? She'd taken her coat and she was better at making a fire than Albert, but still, it was bitterly cold out there.

If she died, it would be all his fault for springing the proposal on her.

He tried to tell himself that Anna was capable. She'd survived years with Clinch's gang, sleeping outdoors, running from the law, holing up in unsavoury conditions. She was tough and smart.

Still, he worried for her. How could he not?

What if she never came back? He loved her, and he thought she loved him, yet she'd ran from him with barely a word. He'd ruined everything.

Several times he thought about going to look for her, just to make sure she was fine, and each time he had to talk himself out of it; he had no way of knowing where she'd gone, and besides he was far more likely to get into trouble alone at night than she was. It didn't make it easier to stay home, safe and warm, and lonelier than he'd ever felt.

He got up in a daze, made breakfast without paying attention and nearly burnt himself on the stove, wandered the ranch with Plugger at his heels. That the dog had stayed with him gave Albert hope; Plugger was Anna's companion and he'd stayed at the ranch so surely Anna was coming back.

Now he was giving a dog mind-reading powers! Albert shook his head and filled the water trough. He'd need another one, maybe several if he was going to buy more sheep. But his heart wasn't in it now, his dreams, once full of going riding and shooting with Anna, snuggling up on cool nights and bathing in the cool river on the hottest days, all dissolved with her refusal.

He took Curtis out for a long ride, exploring some of the main trails, hoping to happen across Anna. He went into town late that afternoon, casually asked Edward if he'd seen Anna.

"She went out to Bigger Stump to buy some of that fancy goat cheese," Albert said by way of an excuse. "I was hoping she'd be back by now."

Edward hadn't seen her. Nor had the Doc, sitting smoking on the veranda of his office. Nor had Millie, who gave him a sympathetic look and a whisky on the house, clearly suspecting he wasn't being honest about Anna's absence.

"I'm sorry," Albert told the evening sky as he returned home. "Anna, if you're out there, I'm sorry. Please let me explain."

Plugger came and licked at his hand and, with a sigh, Albert went indoors to make a meal he wouldn't enjoy.

The second night dragged more than the first. She'd had time to think, they both had. Why hadn't she returned?

Anna had come into his life like a windstorm, a sudden blast that had made everything topsy-turvey, though ultimately it all turned out for the best. He couldn't bear to think she'd gone just as suddenly leaving him devastated in her wake.

He managed to drift off but woke up shortly after, traumatised by a terrible dream in which a giant eagle with Clinch's face carried Anna off. Her screams echoed over a canyon too wide and steep for Albert to cross so he could rescue her.

Bridget stuck her head through the window at dawn and bleated until he rolled out of bed. Plugger greeted Albert eagerly and followed at his heels as he went outside in his undergarments to feed the sheep before going inside to dress properly.

He rubbed one hand across his chin, feeling the stubble. Anna had shaved him last and it had been a moment of trust and surprising intimacy. He swore then and there he'd not shave until he saw her again, even if his beard grew down to his feet. He now had the funds to look after it but he wouldn't bother. He'd let it grow wild and tangled, a testament to his inner turmoil.

He had a momentary vision of his future, an old man nearly tripping over his beard at every step. Children laughed as he passed. The townsfolk whispered how every woman he'd loved had left him. A bird poked its head out of his beard and chirped.

He'd just made breakfast for himself and Plugger when Anna returned.

"Hey," he said. No other words would come.

"Hey." She hovered by the door like a rabbit about to scarper if spooked.

"You want breakfast?" He'd have to share the sausages with her and the dog but he was more than willing to go hungry if it meant Anna would stay long enough for him to apologise.

Anna nodded. She petted Plugger when he came over to greet her. "I'd like that."

When they were both seated at the table, Anna picked up her tin mug and held it in both hands, staring at the food.

"I'm glad you came back," Albert said at last. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sprung that on you. It was stupid."

She shook her head. "No. I'm sorry. I couldn't agree to marry you. Not when I'm..."

"What? Please tell me you don't have a second husband waiting to try and kill me!" He was mostly joking.

"It's not that."

"Then what?" He thought he could get past almost any concern for her.

Anna put down the mug. "You remember how young I was, when Clinch married me?"

"God, yes." This wasn't something Albert liked to think about, let alone at breakfast.

"When I became a woman," she said slowly, "I got pregnant. But there was something wrong. It was painful. I thought I was dying. Clinch told me to quit whining but also he didn't really like the idea of dragging a kid around while we were robbing banks. So he took me to a doctor to get rid of the pregnancy. The doc said it was in the wrong place, that if it kept growing where it was, it would kill me."

"Anna," Albert said helplessly. He had to prevent himself from covering his ears before he heard more. The thought of her being in such danger made his blood run cold despite the fact she was sitting across him, alive and well. This must be hurting her too, to recount this awful moment from her past, and his heart broke for what she must have been through.

She shook her head. "It's okay. Let me finish telling you," she said. "When he was doing the surgery it got messy. I almost died. He had to take out damaged parts of me...he said I couldn't get pregnant ever again. And I think I was supposed to be sad and maybe for one moment I was. But then I realised that Clinch would keep having sex with me and I'd keep getting pregnant. Either he'd have made me get rid of each pregnancy or he'd dump me somewhere and leave me alone to raise his child until he came back to knock me up again. This way I'd never have to worry again."

Albert pushed away his plate, his appetite gone again. His vivid imagination kept trying to make him show Anna nearly dying of blood loss. "I'm sorry," he said. "That is so terrible. I don't know what to say."

"Say you understand why I turned you down," Anna said, blinking away tears again. "I can never give you a son, Albert. Nor a daughter. You deserve a wife who will give you children."

He frowned. "What? No!"

"No?"

Albert banged his hand on the table. It stung and he winced. "Have I ever said I wanted children?"

"No," Anna said. "But I thought-"

"Look at me! It's amazing I've survived this long. I can barely take care of myself and some sheep!"

"Some people are terrible parents but they still have babies."

Albert sighed. "I love you," he said. "I've been daydreaming about spending that reward money on more sheep, and having you at my side to look after them. I've been thinking about lazy mornings in bed and picnics and dinners with our friends. I've thought about evenings by the fireside and days spent taking the flock down to the river and splashing in the water, avoiding all the aquatic creatures who'd love to eat us. But not once had I even thought about a baby!"

Anna picked up her mug again and took a long drink. "I want those things too," she said. "But you might change your mind, especially once Edward and Ruth have a baby."

"No." Albert briefly thought that while Ruth would probably have a baby, that wouldn't necessarily mean it was Edward's–though Edward would love it regardless. "I'll be Uncle Al and after the child's vomited over me I'll hand it back and come home glad not to have to change a diaper. I've hand-fed a lamb before and that was crazy enough, you have to hold onto the wineskin of milk tight and they just sort of suck it down...I mean, I'm not starved for opportunities to be fatherly, I guess? I don't need to be a father myself."

Anna wiped at her eyes. "I had no idea," she said. "You know, if you ask me again, my answer will be different. If you still want to ask me."

His heart leapt in his chest and he couldn't help but smile. "I was going to buy a ring first and do it properly next time, if I was lucky enough to get chance for a next time. But I don't want to wait."

Albert got down on one knee again at her side. "Anna, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

"Yes," she said. "Yes, I will."

Then they were both on their feet, kissing long and hard. When they parted, Anna's tears were joyful ones, and if Albert was a little teary-eyed, well, there was a lot of dust around that morning.

As Albert looked over at the massive flock of sheep he owned, Bridget and Plugger at his side, Anna holding his hand, he was content. Anna leaned in and kissed him, and for once life in the West was perfect.


End file.
